Wandering about,an old doberman notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Doberman thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep shit now!”
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the lion is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder if there are any more around here ?”
Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
“Whew!,” says the lion, “That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the lion. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the lion.
The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine !”
Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now ?” but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman say –
“Where’s that squirrel ? …
I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!”
Moral of this story:
Don’t mess with the old dogs …
Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery !
Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
If you don’t send this to two ‘old’ goats right away, there will be two fewer people laughing in the world.
Of course, I am in no way insinuating that you are old, just ‘youthfully challenged’ – you did notice the size of the print, didn’t you?
A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!!
An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes Dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful leggy blonde.
“I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price, said the man. Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady there. You insisted there could be no discount on that model.”
“Well what can I tell you? She had the ready cash, and just look at her, how could I resist?” replied the salesman.
Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys.
“There you go.” she said. “I told you I could get this joker to drop the price.
“See you late grandpa.”
Never mess with the Elderly
Bill’s second Anniversary was coming up and if there was one thing that got his wife Suzy upset, it was not getting a thoughtful gift on a special occasion. Bill quizzed all his friends, co workers, clients and anyone he happened to bump into, as to what would be a good anniversary present. He finally settled on a huge bouquet of flowers. Not willing to trust himself to pick out the right flowers, Bill called up a local flower shop with strict instructions to deliver the biggest most beautiful bouquet of flowers first thing in the morning with the following note “Happy Anniversary Year Number Two!” The morning of the Anniversary Bill made sure Suzy would be the one to answer the door as he waited anxiously in the other room. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!” Hollered Suzie angrily holding up his well thought out note, “Happy Anniversary You’re Number Two!”
The best form of birth control for people over 50: nudity.
Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.
By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.
At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven.
Turning 50? Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present.